This came up in Sunday school this morning. One person was of the opinion (but not dogmatic) that the wording implied Paul had a choice over whether to go on or not. (I'm guessing this is a result of Kenneth Hagin's teaching that a person can choose when he or she wants to die).I was of the opinion that Paul wasn't actually getting to choose, that he was just laying out the pros and cons of the possibilities of getting a death sentence and was saying even if it were up to him, he would have a hard time choosing whether to live and continue to minister or to go on be with Christ. Of course, I didn't have time to say that in Sunday school; I only had time to go on record as saying I disagreed with the other person's opinion.