| What was I Thinking?I did it again. I told myself last time I wouldn't. Sitting on a long flight back to the USA today, I put my earbuds into my iPad and listened to what was probably one of the very best services I was ever in as a pastor. The choir was full with about 60 people knocking it out of the park vocally. I had a dream team staff hitting on all cylinders with music, youth, children, counseling, small groups, you name it. There was a volunteer staff that gave oversight to over 100 various local ministry opportunities. We had just paid off all debt and walked into a brand new Family Ministry Center with minimal problems. Television, radio and multi-media ministry had just expanded to include a wide regional market. Live Streaming and Face Book was still a dream back then. The congregation had built 3 churches during the year in Jamaica, sponsored mission trips to China, Russia, Ukraine, Israel and Korea and helped to support more than 30 missionaries each year. That very day of the service I was listening to, the church had flown in a young pastor from Kansas to celebrate his new church we had helped plant that involved more than 50 people from our church who had personally been involved in the process all the way from Virginia. That was the day we broke a significant growth and membership ceiling and didn't look back. Sitting on the pews were my 3 daughters who were maturing spiritually. They had been baptized by their pastor and dad. Paula was involved in women's discipleship throughout the city and happy with raising a family, loving her church and enjoying life in the community. Folks had adopted a vision, embraced a purpose and built a work for God. And then....I left it. I left it to be a State Overseer. In one week, I went from preaching to over 800 to 35 in a church that hadn't had a pastor in 4 months and they had no desire to see me riding up on a white horse declaring I'm from the State Office and I'm here to help. I left it to be a crises relief administrator knowing that most of the time, phone calls were connected to trouble. Some would say, I left that church to be a denominational leader in what more and more seems to be a non-denominational world. (I'll save my opinion about that last part for another time.)That was a little over 20 years ago and seldom does a Sunday go by that I don't think about that church and the memories of the good times. Granted, the more distance between then and now lends itself to only remembering the good times and I'm well aware of that. However, the fact remains, after all these years, I still have moments when I ask myself, What was I thinking?Considering today's cultural nuances, the various demographics and at times, all of the leadership complexities and more, What was I thinking to leave the pastorate and get into this thing called denominational leadership?I'll tell you what I was thinking...I was thinking I really trust God with my future.I was thinking God opened this door, I didn't.I was thinking, Maybe what I've learned as a pastor may help someone else in ministry.I was thinking, Maybe I can be a leader that leads from a Revival Posture.I was thinking Maybe it's time for a thirty-something to get involved in speaking in to this movement from a leadership level.I was thinking Maybe I can inspire other young men and infuse new life, new ideas and a fresh anointing into a movement that's over 100 years old.I was thinking that the heritage of the COG past and the hope of the COG future deserved the investment of the strongest and best years of my life. I was thinking, I love Pentecost and maybe my small participation in leadership can lend itself to the preservation and promotion of the Spirit-filled life in pastors, their families, and really, people everywhere.I was thinking I really believe I can help make a difference. I knew the church wasn't perfect and had it's problems and even controversial seasons, but I really thought then that I could make a valid contribution in Great Commission fulfillment.So here I am at 35,000 feet in the air being knocked around by turbulence, ear buds pushed back in and I just heard myself give a 20 year old altar call on my iPad and from what I just heard myself say, over 20 people were saved that particular Sunday morning.What was I thinking?Same thing I'm thinking now. Nothing's changed except the fact that I'm not a thirty-something any more. I'm a fifty-seven year old man doing his best to not only keep up with, but also to know the hearts and help drive the dreams of thirty-somethings and twenty-somethings and teen-age somethings and strangely enough, I'm a little energized by it all. I read the posts and occasionally contribute to Excellent Minister of the COG Facebook page and find it all meaningful, helpful, and at times very sobering in its content. Topics like Growing larger churches in or outside the denomination? You better believe it gets my attention. Topics relative to doctrine, worship and preaching styles and social issues with which we're wrestling? Count on it, I'm reading, and often I'm learning. Sometimes I'm made to be uncomfortable but at all times, I'm challenged and occasionally, it leaves me asking....What was I thinking?I was thinking then what I'm thinking now. We have something genuine to believe in- The Great Commission.We have a worthy vehicle that helps us deliver the message-The Church of God and its more than 40,000 outlets around the World.And, we have ongoing opportunities to become better at it. Now Let's FINISH this thing for Christ's sake and go home. That's what I was thinking then and it's what I'm thinking now. Blessings to you all... |