Have any of you ever looked back at your life and wondered that?No, I’m not talking about the reality of God and salvation. I’m taking about our perception of ways of God.We Pentecostals are grounded in a belief that the Christian experience should operate within Biblical norms found in the narrative in Acts. Unlike our cessationist brethren, we believe that a Christian can be led of the Spirit for the direction his life is supposed to take. In other words, we are a people of expectation while other non-Pentecostal can sometimes go to the other extreme of believing God for nothing but salvation by grace.But are we right? Understand, I’m not talking about WoF nonsense, that sufficient faith is the key to moving the hand of God, etc. Like many Pentecostal youth, I thought I felt the call to ministry and went to 4 years of Bible college, Since graduating in 1988, what have I done? I’ve spent my entire life working low skilled, decent paying jobs. I’ve never benefited from my degree that I can tell. I’ve NEVER really felt like I was mentored by the 5 pastors I’ve had since 1988, nor have any of them ever encouraged me to seek full-time ministry. Oh yes, they helped me get a license from the district board, but that was it. I’ve talked to scores of other who share a similar experience.For all these years I’ve felt a nagging that something was not right. And now the thing I feared has come upon me. In 2000 I started becoming successful in network marketing. By 2004 I was making between 50-60 grand a year and became a stay-home dad in 2005. I really prayed about this. I felt these incredible checks I was getting every week were an answer to prayer for me to be a self funded missionary. We planned on selling our home in 2009 and getting out of Dodge. Instead of saving allot, we put our money into improving our home for the sale. We all know what happened in 2008. By 2010 my MLM income had dripped to 30 grand a year. So we sold our home and moved into my mom’s place after she passed away in February of that year. My pastor of 17 years kindly helped me examine the prosand cons of that decision. His concern was that we were severing ties with those we our support base. Due to the housing crash really did not even break-even on our house. After 2 years at my mom’s my MLM income vanished forever. I put in one application after another, on-line of course. In short, I’ve subsisted on Sub-teaching since.In late 2016 my 2 sisters (co-owners of my mom’s place with me) demanded that we sell. One of them felt called to move to Colorado to go to Andrew Womack’s school. She lasted 6 months, blowing through her 20 grand cut from the sale of the property, and had to return home. The sell of an asset has made it nearly impossible to get any assistance, and we most likely will lose our daughter’s state health insurance in a few days because of this. Having to leave my mom’s place forced us to have to move in with my dad. Driving an hour to sub for 10 bucks an hour is out of the question. The county we live in now required certain education that I did not have just to sub! My 11 years experience was not considered (though I just completed the courses they required). So last year we also blew through most of our money from the land sale. My sister…..UUGGHH!! Long story short……………….I struggle now wondering if much of what I thought was God’s direction since 2000 was really nothing but chance. Why did it seem he brought that MLM to me out of the blue? I will not go into all the details, but it really seemed miraculous and my motives were pure. So maybe some can understand that I am really tempted now to wonder if the Baptist are right. Get saved, be a good Christian, and don’t expect much else by way of divine intervention________________
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