Now, sir, I know you are ordained, but it is worthless--worthless, I tell you!--without this here certification. You pay me--us, I mean us!--to thoroughly vet your credentials by answering certain questions and the such. We also will come to a service and ensure that all is, um, certifiable. This will be good for five years, at which time you may renew for an additional fee.Our current certification fee is $500. Just think, for just $500, you are certifiably...certifiably...you are a certified ordained minister. It makes you superior in every way.