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A question for working, married moms. I am not really addressing those of you who have children in school, nor am I addressing single moms. This inquiry is for those of you who have babies, toddlers or children not old enough yet to be in pre-school. Ok, here is the question. Why do you work? I often see young married ladies whose husbands make decent money going back to work when the baby is three or four weeks old while the baby is left with daycare or grandma. Again, single moms, I get it. Husband disabled or laid-off, I get it. Severe financial hardship, understandable. But if none of those are the case, why do you choose to work instead of waiting until your child is in pre-K at least? This is a serious question, not an inquisition. I'm a researcher, mind you. These kinds of social issues intrigue me. You owe nobody an explanation, nor should anyone judge you. So please feel free to express yourself in a non-confrontational formatI must also confess that, if I was a pastor, I would strongly counsel against it. I am thinking now of a couple of Pentecostal career women I know,in their late 20's,with very small children that they are seldom seen with. They are very involved in ministry and so not only are they spending pitiful little quality time with their kids at home, at church they are dumping them on someone else so they can be unbound to minister. Most of their ministry involves having a microphone in hand

Likely these young moms have educated themselves for a career and see that as a large part of who they are. Remember, this generation has been taught, 'I am woman...I can bring home the bacon...fry it up in a pan... Trying to do it all - and the world tends to make them feel less than if they don't. I work with a lot of highly educated nurses. They are lucky in that they can work three or four days a week & make a decent wage, but for many, it's a full five day a week job, especially if you want to advance in your career. Some are likely conflicted, and I can bet you they all feel guilty at some level, because they may not feel like they are doing anything well. And some women work to provide the extras for their families - things the family/kids want, taking trips, sending kids to private school, etc.IMHO, young moms who don't spend time with their kids so that they can minister don't understand the sacrifice they are making. They don't understand their first calling. And likely, unless they have more kids which makes it difficult, they may not realize until their kids get older that they missed the most wonderful opportunity in their lives.I understand now that I sacrificed important family time in the name of ministering to a friend. I also made the mistake of thinking my older teen kids didn't need me as much during those years. There's no way to get that time back. It's a hard and painful lesson to learn More of Him...less of me.twitter.com/camiracle77www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=691241499&ref=name

Every case is different. Some of these moms are from homes where daddy left mama and kids and mama had NO means of support. Some of these women are saying that will not happen to me.I do wish there was a good answer to your question RS, But it is too complicated.I do believe the mama is VERY important to the family and should be with the kids. Most dads in fact are too BUSY to bother with the kidsl.You might also ask, Why does a woman feel that I might be left high and dry! Some facts but mostly just my [email protected]/

I think in a lot of cases, this is a matter of a single income (even a pretty decent one) not being enough to live what is seen as a modern standard of living by many. Two incomes is the price of progress. To be clear, I am not making a judgment or value statement about whether the price of progress is or is not worth the double-income household. This is only food for thought for the researcher in you. Here's one of the better write-ups I've seen to answer the question What has changed in the last 40 years so that it now takes two incomes to maintain a household?:

This was an incredible, make-sense post. Thanks for sharing it

Sadly, one pastor I know encourages moms ,even of new borns, to get a career since most marriages end in divorce. Kind of a preventive measure type thing. Should a pastor be teaching their saints to have such a shaky attitude about the longevity of their marriage

I think that many more feel or are going to feel the same regret you express here

Paul made it clear that young women were to bear children and mange the household. Men are commanded to provide a living for the family. Therefore biblically, the two have very distinctive roles

Thanks SW, what a trip down memory lane. Also very much truth there.Oh yes and some guy passed me in a 70k truck this AM on my way to church towing a 40K boat. They only have Sundays to enjoy that toy. Some facts but mostly just my [email protected]/

Paul made it clear that young women were to bear children and mange the household. Men are commanded to provide a living for the family. Therefore biblically, the two have very distinctive roles. #1, you didn't say anything about Christian women.