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I attended a memorial service at one of the largest Baptist churches in our county. The young man 33 had died from an over dose of 'FREON'(?) never heard of using Freon. He was in heating and A/c and had access to the stuff.He never missed work and paid his bills. I know one 'Hard Shell' Baptist preacher in 1953 stated at the funeral, Don't be concerned about this man, he is dead and in hell as I speak. The deceased attended this preachers church but the wife was a member of the COG.I attended a memorial service at our local 4Square where the man had been a good worker in his youth but drank too much and was a street person. In the end his children took him in and took care of him. Two preachers told how bad he was the rest of the drunks in the congregation were headed for hell unless they changed their ways.Today it was more polished but the point of the man being a drug addict was prominent in the 2 messages.I am probably mistaken, but the memorial is supposed to comfort the ones close to the deceased. Telling how much he loved his kids, and I KNOW he did (they were there 4-8 yrs old) did not come into play. My heart broke for them.I realize salvation is very important, but addicts and alcoholics KNOW everything the preacher said, probably better than he does. but the kids, mom, dad and wife need some comfort from God's Word. The corpse is just a shell. Where he is and what he was, in in God's hands. This is for the living. The family knows the life of the deceased, what they need is something to hold onto for themselves as they grieve. They don't need to be told how bad someone was they know that more than the preacher, if it is true.At the funeral, How do you handle the death of an addict? Some facts but mostly just my [email protected]/

Unless I really knew the deceased well, I never say anything like, “They’re in Heaven now.”I also never say they’re in Hell, even if I think they probably are. If I am in doubt (or even quite sure they split Hell wide open), the most I will say about their postmortem state is, “They are in the hands of God now.”The toughest funerals for me have been those in which the deceased never expressed faith in God to anyone, never darkened the church house door, and the family, having no church connection, asks the funeral home to find them a minister to perform the funeral service. I always wonder why they want a religious service when their deceased loved one never wanted anything to do with God or religion in life. In those cases, I typically preach about how we are all lost without Jesus Christ, try to point out some ‘good’ things the decedent did in life, and leave it at that.

Sounds like a respectable way to deal with what is a very sensitive issue. Definitely not the time to cast judgement,but rather use it as a time to let the families know that there is hope in Christ for a better life,both now and for eternity “Hell will be filled with people that didn’t cuss, didn’t drink, and may even have been baptized. Why? Because none of those things makes someone a Christian.”

I agree, it makes you wonder why someone who has never been in a church, would want a Gospel preacher to do the service. I have done funerals for suicide victims, a small child, and a host of people I never saw or knew. I have never spoken ill of the dead or expressed Heaven to someone who was lost. However, I tell the assembly, I now commit this soul to the hands of God. I have never found the end of His Mercy or the end of His Grace. He is all Wisdom and Knowledge and knows the end from the beginning in all things

I always preach Christ, the source of all comfor

I agree, we are there to comfort those left behind. I think every minister feels the urgency to use such opportunities to speak of the gospel. And the gospel, as best I can tell, is the good news that God loves us, gave Himself for us, and we don't have to go to hell, etc.There are some funerals where I WONDER if the person was saved. But I wonder just how effective it is for when ministers tell everyone that the deceased is in hell, and they will be too if they don't repent? I have a feeling the minister sometimes goes home feeling that he/she did their job...with little concern about those left reeling in the wake of their eulogy.

Y'all pray, serious here. We are going to another Memorial Service this evening to FIX the other memorial service. The first service was arranged by the estranged wife. This one is arranged by the man's parents at another large Baptist church. Some facts but mostly just my [email protected]/

Okay I am back. I do not know how common it is to have two memorials in the same area. This is a first for me. Since the man and his were separated it appears each side of the family had their services. The first memorial service had two older pastors, the second had a younger minister. He did a good job for a young man in a tough situation.He did not shy away from the cause of death, but he did not dwell on it. But he did what most of you have said you have done, leaned to encouragement and he is in the hands of a just God. I even went away lifted up.but I don't want to see this situation again. I have grands his age, friends of his. I am praying this will be a lesson, a real lesson, they now know Brandon is GONE, they will not work with him again, etc. I hope it is a learning, teaching experience. Growing up the only dead people I knew was OLD people. These youngsters now know death to their ages can happen, it is not a video game.I do appreciate Acts and your comments, they help me. Some facts but mostly just my [email protected]/

I found an old high school classmate on Facebook a few years back. That led to finding a number of them. I friended one classmate and he was posting about how he was grieving after his same-sex 'husband' had died. He posted a lengthy post expressing how upset he was that a Baptist pastor had had a funeral for the deceased, at some relative's suggestion, as I recall. He had asked the Baptist pastor to tell all kinds of things about the man, stories, anecdotes, how much he loved this and that.Instead, the Baptist preacher preached a sermon about getting saved and getting right with God. He was really upset. He wanted a ulogy. He and his fraternal twin brother, who I also knew, decided to protest by not paying the preacher. I posted something in reply to this, pointing out that that is the way Baptist funerals are done, etc. It's a church service.Then, I had an uncle pass away who had lived 95 years, and, as I found out in his old age, had had quite an interesting life. He was the first scout at a WWII battle-- the first one to march out of the line and get shot, usually, but in this case the Germans surrendered. He was injured twice in the war. Later, he had a bar and played music and played the same events with Johnny Cash, Elvis Presley, George Jones. He almost had a record deal, but left town after a drunk drank in his bar last before shooting a police officer. He sent money home to support his brother's and sisters all during this time. Later, he quite drinking, my dad helped him become an electrician. He got married, gave up the wild lifestyle, and got back into church and decided to follow the Lord.There were a lot of great stories in his life. I would have liked to have heard some of them during the funeral. But, come to think of it, I've never seen any of that stuff in any of my Baptist relative's funerals-- just a church service. One thing I notice with Pentecostal and Baptist funerals is that the emphasis is on going to heaven when you die. I can't even find any passages in the Bible that talk about going to heaven when you die. At best, it is inferred from certain passages. The New Testament does heavily emphasize the hope of the resurrection. And Paul commanded his readers to comfort one another with 'these words'-- words about the resurrection at the return of Christ. He did not say to comfort one another with the hope of heaven.After attending a Pentecostal funeral, a friend from church had a son die. His son went to a Roman Catholic university, and I went to a memorial service there. This was my first time at a Roman Catholic funeral, and last so far. I noticed that the Roman Catholic liturgy heavily emphasized the resurrection. I'd heard that one of the problems with the RCC was that they prayed for the dead. They did. It was praying that God would honor his promise and raise the deceased from the dead. There was also a bit of a prayer to Mary. Other than that, it seemed like the liturgy was more focused on Biblical doctrine than the Pentecostal and Baptist sermons I'd experienced

Interesting Link, I enjoyed the read. I have been invited a couple times to a Catholic funeral, I think iwill accept the next invite. Some facts but mostly just my [email protected]/