Few of you, if any, knew this at the time....In April 2014, I took a tumble off the stage of my church when I missed the step. I preached on through, but was in enormous pain. After church, I was taken to the ER. A very large hematoma reached from nearly my knee to my ankle. Of course, I could not work from some days (weeks?--don't quite remember). Horrible pain upon standing due to the pressure inside the leg (this was called fasciitis). Anyway, I recovered, went back to work, and all seemed well.The swelling in my leg (probably approaching twice the normal size) remained. I was told that the blood in swelling would eventually reabsorb, but it never did. So my leg remained extra large, red, and the such. Not necessarily painful, but certainly not normal.Fast foward to mid-February this year. While teaching one day, I felt a pain in my right leg. I did not associate it with the hematoma, but it did remind me of how I felt when I once had a blood clot after a surgery. I took off early and went to the ER. I was never really sure what they found, but they did say it was superficial, etc.The next morning, it was clear that there was more going on: The vein where I had felt the pain (hey!) was now someway more prominent (upper, inner thigh), red, and feverish. So back we went. I missed some more days, but was finally able to return.Then, in the early morning hours of March 2nd, I awoke shaking uncontrollably. I didn't have a fever, could tell that I was not freezing...except I was. I didn't want to wake my wife, figuring it was just me having gotten too cool in the night. But eventually the shaking caused her to wake up. She covered me with additional covers (I had been too cold to even think of getting out from under the covers and getting more covers). I eventually drifted off to sleep. When I awoke for classes in the morning, I had a fever...and was so weak I could scarcely talk or move. Never been that weak before, I don't think.Well, my organized and decisive wife went to work. I did the best I could to shuffle through my morning routine of showering, etc., and then it was off to the ER again. Found that my blood pressure was dangerously low (I saw the screen one time: the bottom number was 44). That was the cause of the almost complete inability to walk, etc.I don't recall all the details, but I was admitted. It was found that my leg was badly infected and that all of these other things were reactions to what was going on in my body. In the next day or so, I was operated on. I was told by the surgeon later that there had apparently been the very real possibility of amputation, and had it went much longer, even the loss of life.Friends, I didn't even know it was going on!!! After the operation, I was in recovery, but somehow my oxygen levels sank very low in the night, causing the whole emergency thing to come down on me (several in the room, sitting me up, telling me to Breathe, Mr. Scott, breath! and the such). So that put me in ICU for a couple of days. The nurses and doctors and others that I came in contact with were of enormous talent--and some seemed almost like angels in their sincere concern for me and my situation. However, as many of you know, there are serious flaws in America's health system. That's another article, but the point is that the PEOPLE were incredible!Well, finally, out of ICU...then the world explodes again. Never had problems with gallbladder...except for then...and it goes out (not gallstones, just, apparently...nothing). In incredible pain. Like horrible cramp you are trying to breathe against and move again. Movements were like being stabbed. Breaths were like being stabbed. Horrible.Had a follow-up surgery on leg scheduled. I was in such pain that I told them I didn't think I could survive it. They loaded me up for a 40 minute ride to another town for a CT scan (their machine was broken at the time). Almost unbearable pain as they transferred me from my bed to the transport stretcher, the bumpy ride, etc. The SYSTEM is broken. They could have taken me right across the road and done the CT scan, but that place was apparently not covered by insurance, etc. And so all you can do is suffer.Moved to Ocala, due to them thinking that they needed to move me to a larger hospital that could cover any emergencies in taking out the gallbladder (even though that itself is not an operation that is a big deal). Gainesville would have been much closer (Ocala was 90 minutes from home; Gainesville about half that). But since Ocala was a sister hospital, I was told that they had a bed available, but if I wanted to go to Gainesville, that request would have to be cancelled, and we would THEN ask Gainesville for a room...and if they didn't have it, I would have deal with gallbladder issue UNTIL a room came available. Again, SYSTEM issues.Desperate, we chose Ocala. It was a long drive for my wife and my mother and father (who were such an blessing and encouragement to us--also serving to pick up our son at school, etc.). Gallbladder was removed. Another CT scan revealed some possible other fluids in the leg. Another operation. By this time, I had been in the hospital since March 2nd (I would not leave the hospital until 3/23). At some point, I might have been released, but because they insisted on IV antibiotics (much more powerful in that form, I understand), we were stuck, since we could not find any homecare that was available to come to our area (Jasper, Florida) and administer IVs. In addition, I was on a Wound Vac that I (still) have to carry that is attached to the leg wounds and removes fluids that could hinder healing.So we waited. This or that doctor had to sign off. Pain was very bad. IV administration of pain worked...but the alternative oral meds that were given in the interim might as well have been candy (even though I repeatedly told them that the potency of the two types of administration were not balanced). So I would have times of feeling relatively well...followed by hours of discomfort (until the next IV administration of pain medicine).Sticks for blood were taken, I suppose, hundreds of times. Rarely would the first stick work, due to the worsening of the veins due to heavy antibiotics. They would wake me up at 3, 5, or whenever, to get blood, apparently feeling that that was more important than a little rest (again, the SYSTEM). Also, numerous IV sites had to be put in my arms due to working for a while...then not. Eventually, I heard of PIC lines and MID lines--one-time set up in which blood can be taken and IV's given. I was amazed that no one seemed to push for this as a way to save nurses time, to save me pain and the such. But eventually, toward the end, I got one.Long story short (too late!), they taught my wife to do IVs (these were pressurized IV's that didn't require hanging, etc.).I was given heavy duty pain stuff (Fentanyl patches that scared me, etc.). When I felt weird pains, I stripped them off and haven't touched them again. Kept falling in to near stupor of sleep...realized that perhaps the blood pressure meds they had had me on in the hospital were perhaps dropping me too low. Stopped those too, and am better. Preached last Sunday...sat down on couch...and was lost for two hours in sleep before anyone woke me (after dinner!!!). Worse, this mix of medications and situations takes you to dark places. I don't think I had a positive or optimistic dream or nighttime thought for a long time. I even woke up one morning and it was as if I were telling Aaron Scott goodbye. I was saying, Lord, I sure enjoyed being Aaron Scott; I'm going to miss him. You can see the mix of gloom, darkness, and the such that were trying to prey on my mind.My wife would have broken herself to be my advocate. Had to have her at the hospital when I was too weak to communicate. I'd move a finger and say, water or whatever, and she could interpret what was needed, for I was too weak to do anything else. Almost too weak to do it, but I had to virtually order her to return home and rest for a couple of days, with my mother and father spelling here. I knew if we were both broke, we'd really be in trouble. She was worn to a frazzle, but my determined and driven sweetheart stood by my side like a mother grizzly. How I love her--and thank God for placing us together.Now, for the POINT....As I mentioned the devil and nature had wreaked havoc on what I LIKE to think is my good mind, balanced emotions, and the such. Some of you have heard how the devil gave me a panic/anxiety attack some years ago. The devil woke me up deep in the night and began to whisper doubts and confusion. I thought I was having a heart attack. In any case, the devil showed up the next night, apparently ready to give me a lifetime of such attacks, but Jesus reminded me of something He had said: If it were not so, I WOULD HAVE TOLD YOU! And I was DELIVERED! Right then and there. But that was then. And so now I'm hurting, so weak, so tired, exhausted, yet the responsibilities of life were again beginning to settle upon me: pastor, parent, husband, teacher....And the devil was doing everything he could, it seemed, to crack what was left of my seemingly very limited and fragile resistance. But last week I preached on Psalm 91--the difference between abiding and ascending the hill of the Lord--and God used it again. As I sat there that morning, preparing for school, gloom heavy upon my heart because of telling Aaron Scott goodbye (hey, it seems like nothing now, but try it at night when you are weak and sick), I turned again to Psalm 91for comfort. Hallelujah! I was told by the Spirit (through the words and through my spirit) that I would NOT be afraid of the terror by night. Not perhaps, not maybe, not we hope so. NO! You SHALL not be afraid of the terror by night...if you dwell under the shadow of the Almighty.Folks, I'm no one special at all. But I DO dwell under the shadow of the Almighty! I'm so far from perfect that it's shameful, yet I AM covered by the HIS feathers and wings! And the victory came--again! (It comes every time, you know...for God NEVER loses!) In fact, yesterday was the best day I've had psychologically (if that's the right word) since this whole ordeal began. And you know how sometimes you just...KNOW? Well, I KNOW that God has come through for me. If I die today, He STILL came through and delivered me from the evil one's attempts to do me damage.(Psalms 91:14 KJV) Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath known my name.Folks, plenty of folks say and spell the name of the Lord. That's not KNOWING that Name of the Lord! Friends, I am happy to say that I KNOW the Name Above All Names! I don't just know OF it. No, I KNOW THE NAME! And you see the blessings that come with KNOWING the Name.Do you know the Name? Trust me, it will matter at some point, in the darkness of trail and battle, when it seems all is lost...but then you will remember that you KNOW THE NAME--and suddenly the hills will be alive with chariots of fire! The Captain of the Host will be there, and it's all over when He shows up!
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